Tonight on The Bachelor, Bienvenidos a Miami!
“Welcome to Miami where the players play…” Not really, but The Bachelor and his remaining bachelorettes do spend some quiet time getting to know each other and figuring out they no longer want to be there, wel, l someone does anyway. It’s getting real people, obey the RULES…
Do: Truly like kids. For all of the pomp and circumstance of The Bachelor, Juan Pablo’s love and excitement at getting to see his daughter is palpable.
Don’t: Note the awkwardness, Sharleen. If you’re having trouble not kissing him, then kiss the man already!
Do: Fit a one word description. It should probably be ‘Elegant.’ It’s all Juan Pablo can ever say to describe his favorite, but certainly not a crowd favorite, Sharleen.
Don’t: Cry. This isn’t new, but now, as we can see from the promo for the new ABC show Mind Games, the network is using your tears to promote everything and we all get to relive your ‘ugly cry’ even more often.
Do: Share your flexibility. Ok so Sharleen has never really followed our Rules of the Rose, but tonight is a major exception when she’s asked about her career and living all over the world and shares that she’s in a better place to shift priorities now. The kind of positively vague statement that gets Bachelorettes to Hometown dates.
Don’t: Think it’s time for everyone to meet your daughter. This one is for The Bachelor himself. Juan Pablo takes Nikki to his daughter Camilla’s dance recital and she’s the first one to meet her. While it goes well, it says something to a young child when daddy’s friend is at her special event and that’s more than reality TV,
Do: Ask questions. After the ‘hometown date’ Nikki experiences in meeting Juan Pablo’s family and his daughter and her mother, she asks The Bachelor how she would fit into the equation. Good play Nikki, it shows that you’re thinking ahead and most importantly not changing something that isn’t broken, but just easing yourself into it.
Don’t: Be conflicted. Ugh, Sharleen just when you’re starting to follow the Rules you go back to breaking them. Well, not exactly break them, but it’s late in the game to take yourself out of the race. After their recent dates it seemed clear she was invested and now she says she doesn’t want to take someone’s spot by being unsure and staying. One has to respect that, right? Right?
Do: Use your cards. Clare reveals before her dad passed away he made a video for her ultimate suitor to watch. Unfortunately a minute later Juan Pablo gives Andi a rose and Clare complains to us that she hasn’t gotten one on one time, but, ahem, you’re still there and remember that time you stole him away in the middle of the night for a swim? Therefore…
Don’t: Say things like ‘I wonder what I’m doing here.’ It plants a seed and be might start wondering too. I know I am.
Do: Know that if I don’t remember your name and nothing happens between you and The Bachelor this week, and there are only six women left, you’re going home, Chelsea.
Next week, two very special episodes of the Bachelor, Hometown Dates seem to go awry for some people and then apparently ‘What happens in the fantasy suite doesn’t stay in the fantasy suite’ Thank. God.