The Walking Dead has more action this week than Daryl has had sexually since the apocalypse started. Which is a dang shame.
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
Last we saw Beth, she was a hardened, no-nonsense bitch who said “we all have jobs to do” in a stoic fashion. Now she is a sobbing, emo, teenage mess. It’s as though she and Carl both hit unfortunate pubescent phases at the same time.
“Those who arrive, survive.” Because clever rhymes promoting your safe haven are the top priority in the zombie apocalypse.
The only thing more baffling than Sasha’s obliviousness to Bob’s obvious flirting is the fact that Bob is flirting with Sasha in the first place. Hey, your brother might be dead, what’s your sign, baby? Do you come to this repulsive pile of walker guts often?
Glenn, you didn’t have to run into a giant crowd of walkers. I know you’re confident with your body armor on, but the comics specifically emphasized how stupid that is to do. Glenn is not usually stupid.
Holy crap, Tyreese has his work cut out for him. Not only is he babysitting Crazy Lizzie and her not-crazy sister Mika, he also has Judith (yay, she’s alive!) who continually cries, as babies do. This is not what he signed up for.
That Beth even entertained the notion of going off in the dark to track other survivors alone is ridiculous. Anyone else in that situation would literally cling to Daryl’s arm and not let go. The man is a god.
Carol would never team up with such incompetent boobs. Thank God she found Tyreese and the children! Although the children are pretty incompetent too, and if/when Tyreese finds out Carol killed Karen there will be hell to pay.
“Dear Diary, we found a prison! I am so happy! OMG. Also, there’s this guy Daryl who is totally cute and stuff, like, I hope he likes me even though I’m way younger than him. He’s good with a crossbow, which is super hot. He’s like Harry Styles and Liam Hemsworth combined. Gotta go, zombies about to eat me, XXOO Beth.”
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
This was an extremely fast-paced, action-packed episode. Daryl and Beth are alive and together. Tyreese has Mika, Lizzie and Judith, and encounters Carol on the road and possibly a sanctuary. Maggie, Bob and Sasha find the bus, which is currently full of zombies, but no Glenn. That’s because he is still at the prison, where he grabs Tara and heads out. They run into three new characters from the comics: Abraham, Eugene and Rosita. Next week, we’ll find out how this will all come together.