Doing the Lord’s Work: Gavin.™ A New Fragrance from Hormel.

Gavin.™ (Photo: Hormel?)
Gavin.™ (Photo: Hormel?)

Sometimes the Lord is vengeful. Enter Gavin™, a fragrance from the makers of Spam. Not convinced? It is “the first cologne based on a sea-captain based celebrity.”

First off, hat tip to Tara for bringing this to my attention. Here’s the ad, in all it’s glory:

Gavin.™ (Photo: Hormel?)
Gavin.™ (Photo: Hormel?)

In case you can’t read the ad copy, here it is:

Gavin MacLeod spends his workday pretending to shepherd lonely people to romance…But in real life, Gavin knows exactly what the ladies are looking for — a manly fragrance overloaded with muscular overtones unabashedly male while still undeniably sensitive.

Hormel has captured this fragrance for the first time with Gavin™, the first cologne based on a sea-captain based celebrity.

The Gavin™ fragrance collection is available in Cologne, Eau de Toilette, After Shave and Deodorant. All these products are available as a Gavin™ Gift Set, with the added bonus of our exclusive Sea Captain™ Manicure & Cleanliness Kit. Gavin™ makes a great gift for Father’s Day or Graduation. You can find Gavin™ at your favorite men’s department store’s men’s department.

Women love the saltiness of Gavin™. You will too.

First, [sic]. Second, SICK. Let’s break this down.

  • “But in real life, Gavin knows exactly what the ladies are looking for — a manly fragrance overloaded with muscular overtones unabashedly male while still undeniably sensitive.” Really, ladies? What are muscular overtones?
  • I Don’t Understand Why Just About Every Word In The Third Paragraph Is Capitalized. And Trademarked™.
  • “You can find Gavin™ at your favorite men’s department store’s men’s department.” It’s located next to the Department of Redundancy Department.
  • “Women love the saltiness of Gavin™.” That is disgusting. Also, be consistent with your punctuation in relation to your ™ usage.

If anyone has a lead on a commercial for this fragrance, I am dying to see it.

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About Mike McComb 656 Articles
Mike has been writing about TV online since 2008, when he started the blog WTF Little House on the Prairie? The blog was a project to practice writing about television analytically prior to getting an MA in Television-Radio-Film from Syracuse University, or as he likes to call it "TV Camp." After a lengthy stint at TVLatest, Mike wanted to launch a site that brought in classic TV, diamonds in the rough, and the shows everybody watches. E-mail: mike@whatelseison.tv
  • Aaron Mucciolo

    Look, this was the first cologne to be based on a sea-captain based celebrity. Can we please lay off the trailblazers for a minute here?

  • robingee

    The third paragraph contains many Trademarked Products™ made by Gavin™ such as Things To Sprinkle On Your Balls™ and Stuff For Under Your Armpits™. Also; gross.

  • Matt S

    The fact the column author seems to buy into this parody being possibly real is a parody itself.

    10 seconds of observation:
    A) The Hormel meat company doesn’t create colognes
    B) Men’s colognes usually don’t come in women’s perfume-like packaging with pink colors and heart graphics.

    Sheeeesh…