Sometimes the Lord is vengeful. Enter Gavin™, a fragrance from the makers of Spam. Not convinced? It is “the first cologne based on a sea-captain based celebrity.”
First off, hat tip to Tara for bringing this to my attention. Here’s the ad, in all it’s glory:
In case you can’t read the ad copy, here it is:
Gavin MacLeod spends his workday pretending to shepherd lonely people to romance…But in real life, Gavin knows exactly what the ladies are looking for — a manly fragrance overloaded with muscular overtones unabashedly male while still undeniably sensitive.
Hormel has captured this fragrance for the first time with Gavin™, the first cologne based on a sea-captain based celebrity.
The Gavin™ fragrance collection is available in Cologne, Eau de Toilette, After Shave and Deodorant. All these products are available as a Gavin™ Gift Set, with the added bonus of our exclusive Sea Captain™ Manicure & Cleanliness Kit. Gavin™ makes a great gift for Father’s Day or Graduation. You can find Gavin™ at your favorite men’s department store’s men’s department.
Women love the saltiness of Gavin™. You will too.
First, [sic]. Second, SICK. Let’s break this down.
- “But in real life, Gavin knows exactly what the ladies are looking for — a manly fragrance overloaded with muscular overtones unabashedly male while still undeniably sensitive.” Really, ladies? What are muscular overtones?
- I Don’t Understand Why Just About Every Word In The Third Paragraph Is Capitalized. And Trademarked™.
- “You can find Gavin™ at your favorite men’s department store’s men’s department.” It’s located next to the Department of Redundancy Department.
- “Women love the saltiness of Gavin™.” That is disgusting. Also, be consistent with your punctuation in relation to your ™ usage.
If anyone has a lead on a commercial for this fragrance, I am dying to see it.