Kelly Clarkson wonders what the hell is up with Scarlett, and so does everyone else
Mayor Teddy is wrecked by wife Peggy’s murder, especially because the bullet was meant for him. He announces to the press that the would-be assassin – a disgruntled, chronically unemployed dude – was found dead in an apparent suicide. Juliette welcomes back super assistant Emily, who arrives just in time to handle her homewrecker boss’s PR nightmare. Brent is worried because no one has seen or heard from Will since the night they hooked up. Despite recent tensions, ex-lovers/writing partners Scarlett and Gunnar flip when Kelly Clarkson expresses interest in recording their songs. After launching Highway 65 Records, Rayna must make tough artistic choices based on market research she used to ignore. Gunnar tracks down a suicidal Will, who is squatting in a cornfield. Zoey tells Scarlett she’s done feeling guilty. When a bible-thumping demonstrator shouts mean stuff at Juliette about her dead mom, she responds, “There is no god that would listen to a crackpot like you.” This is condensed to a vine of Juliette saying, “There is no god,” which tears up the internet. Deacon struggles with writer’s block and an inexplicable anger toward ace girlfriend Megan. Teddy wonders if this botched assassination attempt was really just one man acting alone. I mean, we all kinda think Lamar sent him, right? But that’s another episode. Here are five awesome things from last night’s Nashville.
Oh my! After Brent comes looking for Will, Gunnar and Zoey nose around the missing roommate’s things. She suggests they view his web search history. Gunnar slyly nabs the laptop and says, “Maybe I should do that. Could be some guy stuff on there you wouldn’t want to see.” Guy stuff, indeed, but not what you’re thinking, Zoey…
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies The Conrad girls are bent on comforting sad dad Teddy. Daphne announces they’re cooking dinner – mac & cheese and hotdogs. He replies, “How’d you know that’s what I wanted?” She runs off to concoct this disgusting assemblage. Meanwhile Maddie turns to her dad and says of deceased stepmom Peggy, “She was nice.” This is both untrue and just a shade less tepid than, “She had pretty hair.” In other words, that Maddie is one good kid.
Nashville’s Clare Huxtable We like lawyer Megan because she’s beautiful, confident, guileless yet clever. And she suffers none of Deacon’s bullshit. He blows up at her for bringing him food when he’s writing(?), so she bolts. When they next talk, she calmly states that he behaved like “a complete and total asshat.” He agrees, then admits he’s been all messed up since they fought. “You wanna know who I blame?” he asks. And just as calmly, she replies, “It better not be me.” Isn’t she great? (p.s. He does blame her but only because she makes him happy and he sucks at being happy, so it’s really his fault. Hooray!)
Zoey + Gunnar rule, Scarlett + Avery drool When Scarlett tells Kelly Clarkson she couldn’t possibly collaborate with Gunnar on future songwriting projects, he’s understandably pissed. But this just strengthens his relationship with Zoey. She knows her ex-BFF is overreacting and officially doesn’t care anymore. “I’m not sorry at all. Because I love you.” They make out and this is presumably followed by awesome “said the l-word” sex. But it’s opposite effects-ville for Scarlett and Avery. He wonders why she’s still angry, given that she dumped Gunnar. She wonders why Juliette showed up at 2am a couple weeks prior. He says that’s not a thing, but this blondie knows better. All she can say is, “We’re like old slippers, aren’t we? Just stepped back in and tried to pick up where we left off… But we’re not the same.” Finally! Everyone knew this rekindled romance was just an annoying obstacle getting in the way of #JulAvery
Darling, won’t you ease my worried mind? Juliette almost chokes on her pride when she has to beg Layla to stick up for her. Layla agrees, on the condition that Juliette owes her a big one. And when she publicly defends her frenemy, the starlet begins with, “I’m the last person in the world who would defend Juliette Barnes if she actually said what was on that tape. Because, as some of you may know, I hold very deep religious beliefs and I would not betray those beliefs for anyone or anything.” Oh, please . She’s just setting up an, “I’m the last person in the world who would defend Juliette Barnes” vine. Awesome Thing Honorable Mention: This scene just barely topped the moment when Juliette drags her autograph-signing rival away from a group of demonstrators. Hey, maybe Layla signed their bibles!