The general Rule to make it through this week’s Bachelor Rose Ceremony seemed to be “show your crazy,” but not your CRAZY.
This week The Bachelor took us to sunny Los Angeles…ok, it just kept us in the same sunny city we were in previously. However, as with most “Week 2’s” There were some dates specifically designed to appear harmless. You know, the photo shoot that is all fun and games until someone has to get naked. Or the getaway in a private jet that ends in costumes and screaming crowds. The moral of this week is go with the flow, but make sure your glass doesn’t overflow with wine, or champagne, or beer, or hard liquor.
Do: Pretend you are worse at figure skating than the Venezuelan Bachelor, smooth move on your one-on-one date Clare. But then Don’t talk about your dad’s death during your romantic alone time in the hot tub. But ya did get the rose…
Don’t: Think your LED-lighted jumpsuit is what you’ll be wearing in Salt Lake City, unless you’re at the ‘Electric Run’ which is apparently a racing rave fueled by adrenaline instead of trippin’ on ‘E.’
Do: Realize you’re on TV and will be pushed out of your comfort zone, Andi, so be prepared to wear either a bikini or a small cardboard sign smaller than a bikini. But if it’s a big problem be smart enough to try to switch costumes with the professional ‘Flower Child’ like the other girl stuck with a tiny outfit. It’s all for a good cause as this week’s group date is a photo shoot with some cute canines looking for happy homes.
Don’t: Bring up that time when you two almost kissed and then expect him to kiss you, because when he doesn’t, not even bringing up your son again can help you.
Don’t: Drink too much at any of the pool parties, Victoria, especially on the roof. Or interrupt his time with someone else. Or run away crying to the bathroom because you haven’t had yours. Or yell at the producers because, for your safety, you can’t just walk off into the streets of LA in a bikini. But if, and when you sober up you can definitely be sent on the long walk home by The Bachelor himself.
Do: Make The Bachelor have to explain that he wants you there. Best to take the Cassandra approach with minimal tears and more of a general look of ‘where am I? How did I get here? Why is everyone so pretty? Am I pretty? Of course I am, but why am I so sad, just don’t ugly cry until at least week 7…Oh look here he comes to see if I’m ok. Act not-ok. Accept rose.”
Don’t: In the first few weeks, stand next to someone you know will get a rose, it’s all a ploy to see your reaction as they walk by to get THEIR rose. See Amy L. and Chantal this week.
We’ll continue to watch for Rose Ceremony placement next week!