An Unfortunate Episode – Small Wonder Season 2 Episode 5: Home Sweet Homeless

Small Wonder (Screen: 20th Century Fox Television)

All the hilarious hijinx you’d expect in a robot slave girl sitcom, plus a homeless guy!

This episode of Small Wonder opens with Lawson family patriarch Ted and his robot “daughter” Vicki in the kitchen, preparing a goopy, gray beverage. Ted is wearing hideous red pants. Enter his human son Jamie, who says, “Whoa, dad, awesome pants!” Something about his lisp suggests this might be facetious.

Ted corrects him. “These aren’t just pants. These are my new designer golf pants.”

Jamie quips, “For your sake, I hope there’s no designer bull on the golf course.” Good bitchy retort, Jamie. He takes a whiff of his dad’s protein shake and nearly gags – an appropriate response to much of the 1980s. Ted tries mixing the shake but his blender is broken. He shoves the pitcher in front of Vicki’s face, says, “Liquify this,” and presses her nose. Vicki wiggles her fingers at lightning speed, thereby displacing the blender and establishing her true function in the Lawson home. Who wouldn’t want a handy robot slave girl?

Enter mother Joan. “You can congratulate me!.. My women’s auxiliary just called and you’re looking at the new chairperson of the Committee to Aid the Homeless.”

Vicki states in her robot monotone, “THE WORD HOMELESS IS NOT IN MY BUBBLE MEMORY MODULE.”

Jamie sneers, “Mom, tell bubblehead here what it means.” Jamie’s a bit of a shit.

Joan explains that homeless people sleep in alleys and streets and have no jobs. “People usually think they’re just a bunch of bums and winos, but they’re not. Sometimes they’re just whole families that are down on their luck.”

Ted adds, “Yeah, and it’s up to people like us to help them.” Well that’s a kind, compassionate message… psych! They’re laying the seeds for subsequent hilarity, just you wait.

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Tara Rose
About Tara Rose 106 Articles

Since 2009, Tara has been writing snarky essays about pop culture, motherhood and her various neuroses at Rare Oats. She spends most of her other time selling cheese, raising a small human and goofing off with her husband Dan. E-mail: tara@whatelseison.tv

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