Haikus: Dancing With the Stars Season 17 Week 1

Dancing With the Stars (Photo: ABC)
Dancing With the Stars (Photo: ABC)

The 17th season of Dancing With the Stars kicked off with cha chas, foxtrots, and contemporary routines. With one of the show’s best casts ever, we’ll be recapping the season 17 syllables at a time.

Brant Daugherty

Channeled VMAs

With twerkless Blurred Lines routine

Not bad. 22.

 

Leah Remini

Foxtrot to Winehouse

A little wobbly in parts

Judges gave 7’s

 

Corbin Bleu

Contemporary?

Nice job, but this is ballroom.

He scored 24.

 

Jack Osbourne

Another foxtrot

Jack dressed like Pee-wee Herman

Mom cried. 23

 

Amber Riley

Counting steps to Wings

She’s completely overpraised

Twenty-seven?! What?!

 

Elizabeth Berkley

Imagine routine

Contemporary again

Three 8’s. Nice, ringer.

 

Bill Nye

Danced to “Weird Science”

Going for zany Cha Cha

Bad news: 14 points

 

Keyshawn Johnson

Cha cha to “Treasure”

Stomps about; Pro dances ’round

Week one 17

 

Christina Milian

Partnered with Ballas

“Gravity” contempo dance

It’s fine, 22

 

Bill Engvall

Survived his first dance

Described as “smoothy woothy”

He earned three sixes

 

Valerie Harper

Inspirational

Some missteps, recovered well

Sevens, crowd support

 

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Call her Nicole, please

Cha cha cha to Wild Ones

Good job: 8-8-7

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About Mike McComb 656 Articles

Mike has been writing about TV online since 2008, when he started the blog WTF Little House on the Prairie? The blog was a project to practice writing about television analytically prior to getting an MA in Television-Radio-Film from Syracuse University, or as he likes to call it “TV Camp.” After a lengthy stint at TVLatest, Mike wanted to launch a site that brought in classic TV, diamonds in the rough, and the shows everybody watches. E-mail: mike@whatelseison.tv