When we return, Cap’n Brusque is back and ushering a nameless, dialogue-less crime scene tech through a blood spattered doorway. He joins the dynamic duo in the dining room and wearily1 requests that the report not refer to the perp as headless. He wants to know who the men were and Ichabod starts filling him in on Freemasonry. “I know who the Freemasons are,” says Cap’n Thenwhydidyouaskingthefirstplace. “Why did they get their heads chopped off?” Probably because of that anti-Masonic bigotry Abbie’s been flinging about; it’s the 21st century, time for a little tolerance of secretive, manipulative, gender- and race-based societies is all I’m saying.
Ichabod recaps the whole good’n’evil thing and Irving is just overwhelmed by the whole heads being taken thing. “For now, our working theory is cult ritual suicide,” he says. He quiets Abbie’s discomfort by saying he’s trying to help, but this all keeps getting bigger and bigger2 and he still needs proof the Horseman exists. “Four beheaded Masons isn’t proof?” Abbie eye-rolls. “Of four Masons without a head? Yes,” says Irving. Hee. The crime scene tech in the background may or may not be listening; Cap’n Paranoid says they’ll finish this back at the precinct.
Abbie finds Ichabod in a nearby ransacked study, angrily picking up and putting down books. He’s certain the information the Masons had must be here. Because, y’know, they wouldn’t have a vault or a safe or anything. Abbie softly apologizes for his loss but he brushes it off – “It’s war. It’s not the first time I’ve lost friends in battle, and it certainly won’t be the last.” That line with Tom Mison’s face would also make a good t-shirt. I’m waiting, Internet.
Ichabod picks up an enormous, elaborate, not-at-all-old-looking book and says “It must be here!” Dude, did you or did you not see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? If it was, it’s gone now – presumably the Horseman ripped out the relevant pages. Actually it looks like he sliced them out with his glowing axe, which would have been a fun scene to watch them try and stage.3 Ichabod slams the book down in frustration and gives a rather effective mini-monologue ending in the vow “I will not leave this earth with him still on it.” I make it a point to never get on the bad side of tenured history professors, and this is why.
- It’s his favorite emotion! ↵
- That’s what she said! ↵
- Think about it – he holds the sheaf of papers in one hand and clumsily swings the axe with the other, avoiding all the rest of the book? Or does he use it like a pocket knife and carefully slice the pages? Does he nick his thumb? If so, how does he suck on it to dull the pain? I want a webisode exploring all of this. ↵