Sleepy Hollow Season 1 Episode 5: John Doe

Back in the woods, Ichabod is staggering along with Thomas staggering along beside him as Abbie urges him to keep talking to help ignore the pain. Riiiiight. This all looks like a great plan. he fills her in about Katrina and the whole purgatory sitch. Abbie says she’s glad he pulled himself out, but before they can share a wan smile of mutual admiration or anything Thomas collapses. Pestilence rides menacingly through the woods.

Ichabod doesn’t think he has the strength to continue and tells Abbie to have the colonists come back for them. She says he’s needed – all the trees look the same to her. While he weakly laughs at that she sticks him with an epi-pen from a med kit she’s wisely brought along. He jerks upright. “What was that?” “Adrenaline.” “I like it.” Hee. Can you get addicted to adrenaline? There’s an interesting mid-season plot arc.

Pestilence is upon them and Ichabod gathers up Thomas and with newfound verve and vigor heads for the colony. We jump to them (and Pestilence apparently) having crossed the secret pathway and Ichabod taking Thomas straight for the koi pond. The colonists scatter in fear at the approaching horseman, although they don’t run particularly fast. More like they jog in minor concern. Ichabod submerges himself and Thomas and Abbie… yells at him to hurry. WTF? You want him to get wetter faster? Just as Pestilence rides up upon them Ichabod reemerges and looks to see if it worked – it did as the horseman once again vanishes into a twist of blackish-purple smoke. “You were right,” he breaths at Abbie. “The waters provide a cure.” No shit, Sherlock. Is Sherlock as lazy with its writing as this show is becoming?

Bright light washes over everything and suddenly Ichabod is standing in a ruined well in the middle of the woods. “What just happened?” asks Abbie, breathlessly. There’s something resembling an explanation in the next several lines of dialogue but i’m seriously not going to bother because it’s poorly written and redundant and oh look Irving’s calling to tell them that everyone is miraculously recovering. The real miracle, of course, is that Abbie gets cell  service in the middle of a wilderness preserve.

Abbie takes a moment to wrap up the other half of the character thread, telling Ichabod that, despite his troubles adjusting, she thinks he belongs in Sleepy Hollow in present day. Surprised but magnanimous, Ichabod says “Well, why don’t we go home then.” He then voiceovers, with closed captions that indicate that some pointless bits of narration were thankfully removed, that there’s much work to be done for if and when the Headless Horseman returns. As if on cue, the Horseman rises out of the river somewhere to dramatic music. I think that’s the same exact damn footage from the pilot. Lazy lazy lazy. He then rides through the woods… which are on fire. Huh? I’m guessing, partly because of the poor quality of that visual, that that’s a scene from a later episode that they felt the need to include now.

This episode was a struggle, I’m not going to lie. Viewing it a second time raised so many holes and threadbare parts… Also, this is the first time they showed us ol’ Headless since the pilot. It’s been a jumble of episodes… fair warning for the three of you reading these that I might switch from full recaps to 5 Awesome Things, just to preserve my sanity and my genuine like for the show.

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